I Forgive You For Not Enjoying Coffee

The last few weeks the blog has focused on forgiveness and how to overcome it through God’s great grace in our lives. With forgiveness and resentment leading our lives we will never be able to enjoy the hope we can have living a life filled with the forgiveness Christ offers us. So, I want you to know I forgive you if you do not enjoy coffee as much as I do, and ask for your forgiveness when I am critical of your coffee, or non-coffee choices.

There is so much instruction in God’s word regarding forgiveness and this direction is given to us in order for us to learn to obey our Heavenly Father, to follow in his ways and to be a light to this hurting world. God’s grace for us is so amazing that he forgives us even before we have sinned. He forgives us every time we ask. He forgives our sins and forgets them as far as the east is to the west. I love this scripture from Psalm 103:12 that tells us he forgets our transgressions. The reason why this scripture is so magnificent is because there is no ending from the east to the west. There is a North and South Pole that you can pinpoint from north to south, but no stop from east to west. It is ongoing, never ending, which means we are never able to find the end. Can you even imagine having this type of forgiveness? This is true love! This is how big Christ’s forgiveness for us truly is.

Daniel 9:9 tells us, “The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him.” Because Christ died for us on the cross, he forgave all the sins that were, are, and will be to come. Praise our Great Gracious God!

In the past few weeks, we have discussed forgiveness in our families, with our kids, and resentment. I think it is definitely time to discuss forgiveness for ourselves. Forgiving yourself is really about giving yourself grace. You are beautiful because God has been graceful to you. You are the daughter of a King because God chose you. You are already forgiven for the mistakes you have made because God loved you before you were born and counted every hair on your head. When, as women, will we start to forgive ourselves versus being critical of everything we do, wear, say, buy, choose? How often do we not give ourselves grace for choosing to sit and binge on Netflix rather than clean your house? My son’s wonderful family chooses to spend their weekends together with all the kids, enjoying time outside, baseball, soccer, walking the dog. It’s easy for them to not forgive themselves for not having a perfectly tidy house. Giving themselves that grace and forgiveness will reap so many rewards when their children are older because they will remember the times spent together versus the times watching mom and dad clean the house. Instead, they have put chores, and routines into place so this task gets done before family time.

I have chosen to forgive myself for having wrinkles so early in my young 55-year-old life. Chemo, stress, and sun have blessed me with these and instead of being so angry and consumed with it, I have given my self grace to be beautiful even with the ugly beasts. A good teacher friend of mine is in the process of forgiving herself for not wanting to go back to teaching as she has spent time helping her family heal. She is reaching out to God on a daily basis for His grace so that she is able to forgive herself for even thinking such a thing. Another good friend is forgiving herself for gaining so much weight during her last pregnancy and separation from the baby’s father. She is choosing grace and making sure she exercises and eats right. (Except for the tootsie rolls she can’t pass up during our bowling league.) A wonderful woman I know is forgiving herself for enabling her son throughout his drug addiction and reaching for the grace of God to help her be a loving mom without enabling her son’s addiction. I see women all around me forgiving themselves for just not being perfect. Loving themselves because they are perfectly made, not made perfectly. Forgiving themselves for not having perfect hair, for not cooking dinner tonight, for not cleaning the bathroom for 3 weeks, for choosing Bible time over watching tv.

I could go on and on with the list of areas we may need to be giving ourselves forgiveness. In fact, right now, take a minute to see an area of forgiveness you need to give yourself. Write it down if you need to. Look in the mirror and say, “I forgive you for _____.”

It is important, though to judge ourselves according to the Word which means acknowledging our sin, repenting and then living in the truth that there is then no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We must continue to look at the person we are portraying to the world and be clear on where we fall short and then go to God for forgiveness. When this is done, we are truly free to forgive ourselves for sin in our lives. When you are able to forgive yourself, you are able to then see yourself the way God sees you, forgiven in Christ.

Being forgiven in Christ is the only way to live. When we give ourselves over to this type of life, we will begin to see the hope and joy given by forgiveness. When we judge ourselves based on Christ, we will fall away from judging ourselves based on the world’s standards. The world’s standards tell us we have too many wrinkles. The world’s standards tell us to give and give and give to our children instead of setting rules and expectations for them to earn what they receive. The world tells us to look like a supermodel and take pills to be thin. It is time to forgive ourselves for following what the world wants us to be rather than following what Christ already tells us we are. Ephesians 1:4 says, “For he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in love before him.” This is telling us that what we are is chosen by Christ even before the formation of the world.

I read a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 15:10 that says, “Today I am who I am because of God’s grace, and I have made sure that the grace He offered me has not be wasted. I have worked harder, longer, and smarter than all the rest; but I realize it is not me- it is God’s grace with me that has made the difference.” Let’s give this grace to ourselves every day and more importantly, let’s receive it from ourselves.

Try these six things each day and watch your life turn around.

1. Remember - Remember who God is and who he made you to be. Perfectly, beautifully, with strength and dignity.

2. Thankful - Be thankful to God for his gift of YOU. Be thankful for all the parts, quirks, wrinkles, freckles, limbs, hair, etc., etc., etc., that He gave you.

3. Forgive - Forgive yourself on a minute-by-minute basis for not being perfect, for making mistakes, for being vulnerable, for being you.

4. Pray - Seek God and his voice. Talk to him about your insecurities, ask him to make a way for you to overcome.

5. Get in the Word- Read what the Bible says about you and how much our Great Creator loves you. Read about how you were perfectly made and what he sees when he looks at you.

6. Celebrate -Jump for joy on a daily basis. Send pictures of you jumping in celebration of how perfectly made you are and the accomplishments you had that day.

This is how we are to forgive ourselves. This is what we must move toward in living in Christ. This is what we deserve, complete forgiveness and grace.

Grab your coffee, jump for joy, take a great picture to remind yourself that you are forgiven and to forgive yourself.